In front of me sits the forty-two-year-old Keegan Pillay, a man who has been through life's mills a few times. He finally came out on the other side, well-adjusted. When you look into his soft eyes now, it is hard to believe that he was once a hard-nosed jerk who had no respect for another life. Although this is my second interview with Keegan, I still find it hard to believe that there was a time when he lived up to and even honoured the name his friends gave him, 'Lucifer'. This is the first part of a four-part story about Keegan Pillay and his journey to restore his life.
Keegan Pillay knows all about the life of a gangster - he's hung out with the country's most famous and biggest villains and even worked for some of them. He also worked for Nigerians as a drug smuggler. It had been his job to recover the drug lords' money from the addicts and to do it violently, if necessary. His violent childhood prepared him to successfully do this job for the drug lords. But he left that life behind seven years ago - he is now a responsible and first-class farm worker who makes a very important contribution to ensuring food security. His steady work at Emseni Farm not only gives him great pleasure... it also enables him to help care for his ageing mother. But, let’s backtrack a bit to his earlier life!
Keegan has two older brothers and a sister. He was only seven years old when he was first introduced to alcohol, ironically through his biological father who allowed him to take sips of his liquor when he was under the influence. And it was often…
Keegen says they never had a shortage of material things, but his father had a huge drinking problem that ruined the family's lives. His mother, in particular, had to live under his father's hot temper and often felt her husband's destructive outbursts and violent actions. When his parents finally parted ways, young Keegan's life was completely turned upside down, but he chose to stay with his father instead. This is where the road to destruction went downhill faster.
Keegan was also exposed to movies with violent themes from a very young age. The violence shown in those movies, he practised on other children. From the age of eight, he was taught how to fight physically and often engaged in street fights.
And it didn't just stop at alcohol. Keegan started smoking cigarettes around eight years of age and by the time he celebrated his twelfth birthday, he was already addicted to drugs. His first choice was mandrax, but he ended up abusing any drug he could lay his hands on. As is the case with those addicted to alcohol and drugs, Keegan began stealing to support his bad habits. He also used violence to get what he needed.
Keegan Pillay was molested as a child by a family member and this cultivated an intense hatred in him. Hate can destroy a person’s life. It can result in a person not having any empathy for others.
Keegan explains his hatred as follows: "I became a slave to my own hatred and pain, but never revealed those who abused me. The abuse led to me living a life dominated by ghosts and the painful memories I carried with me haunted me. So much so, that I intensely hated everyone around me. I also had problems with one of my brothers and it brought distance between us. The violence I experienced in the home contributed to my also leading a violent life, and even though I knew it was wrong, it didn't really stop me at the time."
Keegan says that he really liked his image as a 'bad boy', the one everyone was afraid of. His friends called him 'Lucifer', and he liked the name very much. He worked hard to live up to the name and showed no mercy to others. At the age of fourteen, he ended up in prison for attempted murder.
And so began the spiral of in-jail-out-of-jail, back-in-jail-out-of-jail, and there Keegan learned how to get really serious about drug dealing. It did not make him a better person at all to go to prison for his offences - on the contrary, his crimes only increased. Keegan's mother finally had enough and sent him to his uncle in Durban, hoping that he would be okay there. His mother did not know that his uncle was also a drug smuggler, and the visit there made him disappear further into the dark hole. His life spiralled out of control.
"I never talked to anyone about my pain, but I couldn't escape from that dark hole I ended up in - even if I wanted to", explains Keegan. "The pain only got worse and I tried to end my life a few times. It was my brother who stopped me when I tried again. My brother then put his foot down and told me that it was time for me to turn my life around."
Sometimes a person has to hit rock bottom in order to understand that change starts from within. Keegan Pillay knew that if he wanted change in his life, he has to be that change himself first.
"For me, the turning point came in 2015. I was then on the street and my health was deteriorating. I realized that I had lost control, and although I was schooled in the Hindu faith, one day, when I really hit rock bottom, I strangely cried out to the Lord Jesus to help me. By then I was homeless and staying with my brother from time to time, but mostly sleeping on his front porch while he knew nothing about it. I would slip out early in the morning and just continue in my footsteps of self-destruction."
"It was my brother who told me about the KwaSizabantu Mission in Kranskop, KwaZulu-Natal. He told me that he was going to take me there to do the CYPSA program. He heard somewhere how successful the program is. I didn't know much about it, but I didn't have any other choice either. Because my brother promised me R5,000 if I went, it was a great motivation for me to comply with his request. However, I intended to use the money afterwards to buy drugs and then sell them again and thus get my 'business' going again. I had a lot of knowledge and extensive experience of that."
16 October 2015 will always be a very special day for Keegan. That was the day his brother loaded him into his car and took him to the mission station to start the CYPSA restoration program at the KwaSizabantu Mission. This is the day that marks the beginning of his new life, despite the fact that he was then suffering from the withdrawal symptoms of heroin.
Under the impression that it was a rehabilitation centre, Keegan voluntarily went along. He only realized later, when he was already busy with the 21-day restoration program, that it is not a rehabilitation centre, but a place of spiritual restoration. It was at the mission where Keegan was treated like a real person for the first time and accepted unconditionally into the community. He also found the Lord and has followed Him faithfully ever since.
CYPSA stands for Concerned Young People of South Africa and the restoration program they follow is intense and modelled on biblical principles. According to CYPSA's 21-day restoration program, the participants must commit to the rules and strictly follow all the instruction.
Through the CYPSA programme at the KwaSizabantu Mission, Keegan Pillay has managed to completely change his life from being a gangster to a responsible citizen and a graceful farm worker.
"In my entire life I have never experienced anything like this", explains Keegan about his experience at KwaSizabantu. "The respect and acceptance I received from strangers were unprecedented for me. These people did not know me at all, but welcomed me and accepted me unconditionally. This while my own people rejected me. I don't know of another place in the whole world where an addict is taken in so unconditionally and without any payment for the restoration program. When I asked how much it would cost, I was told that Jesus had already paid for me on the cross."
As much as possible, Keegan apologized to those he had wronged in his previous life and made peace with his family. He visits his family regularly and takes care of his mother financially. She has also visited him at his workplace once or so.
The mission station has established several projects and successful businesses since it was started more than fifty-two years ago. Keegan eventually landed at one of the agricultural projects, Emseni Farm. After starting the program as a broken person and successfully completing it, he finally found his peace in the greenhouses of the Emseni Farm, which means 'grace' in Zulu.
Keegan also received that grace. It's now seven years later, and although there were days when it was extra difficult to stay on the right path, Keegan finally said goodbye to his old life. He is now an honorable farm worker who works hard to make the country a better place.
Emseni is currently one of the largest sweet pepper producers in the country with more than 11 hectares of greenhouses. Emseni also plants other vegetables, such as lettuce and others. A very large part of the farm consists of avocado orchards. Emseni also produces its own compost from the waste generated by the greenhouses as well as daily use on the farm. This compost is recycled back into the orchards.
Emseni farms close to nature and many projects help to ensure the survival of the farming. In addition, they also help the neighbouring community with training and teach them how to farm self-sufficiently. Emseni's management also gives advice and even donates seedlings so that the community members can set up their own farming.
And it is when he talks about his work in the greenhouses that the true Keegan character emerges. There is no sign of the skunk to be seen. His face brightened and his eyes spoke together. He recently completed his second year for a diploma in food production and is very much looking forward to starting the third year.
(NOTE: Article supplied by Devoted magazine: Read online: https://devinepublishers.com / Devoted. You can also read more testimonies of restored lives on the same website - click on the CYPSA programme.
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